Lonely!? That is the question.

Are you lonely or just trying to empower yourself? This is something I found myself thinking, sadly.

Being single again is not the same as the last time considering that I was in love and had to end that relationship. I feel like I don't know what I want or hope for, like I made a mistake and he loves/loved me, like I made the right decision, but all these feelings are just some of what I feel.

Going through the Kama Sutra make me remember a lot of things that I did have with my ex, and not to sound typical but I feel like I will never be able to make demands. Plus, I don't go out much which means my guy 'radius' is limited. I have made convictions on what kind of guy I want to be with in the future and I hope to find him. Honest, rich, kind, strong, smart, these are some of the things I look for in my future and I can't help but feel superficial.

I consider myself intelligent, flexible, honest and kind, I'm no fool to anyone and I refuse to feel like one for anyone which is why I ended things with my ex. I want a secure future but I need to make changes to my present and that includes me, I just don't know where to start.
E.J.I.